The Babysitter
by hes-beauty-hes-jason-grace
Summary: Chloe needs a babysitter. Lucifer (unwillingly) helps her out. Deckstar


Today was not her day. And it didn't take her very long to realise this. It started as soon as she snapped her eyes open and the grim realisation settled over her.

She was far too well rested.

She spun her head violently to her bedside alarm clock. The neon numbers gleefully informed her that it was going to be a particularly awful Monday.

She fought off her covers and dived out of bed, her lightheadedness immediately made her regret standing up so quickly.  
She took a second to recover, then sped down the hall to Trixie's room.

She opened up the curtains, then walked over to place a cold hand on her daughter's head.

"Trix? It's time to get up."

She groaned and tried to burrow back under the covers. But Chloe was well accustomed to this by now.

"Don't make me dump a bucket of water over your head."  
Nothing.  
"I mean it."  
She didn't even move.  
"If you don't get up now then no chocolate cake tonight."  
"Okay, okay, I'm awake."  
Chloe smiled.  
"Hey can you get dressed while I make breakfast? I'm running a bit late today."

Her daughter nodded sleepily and headed out to the bathroom down the hall.

Meanwhile, Chloe did her best to get everything together.  
She put two slices of bread into the toaster and set out a plate for them. She danced around the kitchen, picking up and putting things down as she went; a plastic tub of butter, a can of strawberry jam, a knife.  
She was halfway through improvising a packed lunch for her daughter when the toaster popped. She set the pieces of toast on the plate and then hurried off to put on her uniform.

She had just finished with Trixie's toast when she appeared. Too late to start her own breakfast now. She decided to just grab something from the station kitchen.

And soon enough, they were both out the house and ready to go. Their arms were filled with hair brushes, lunch bags, and books that were spewing up loose bits of paper onto the asphalt as they went along, but they were ready and that's what counted.

She handed Trixie her two slices of toast as soon as her daughter was done wrestling with her seatbelt.

She buckled herself in, then started the car.

Unfortunately, driving meant that Chloe had to occasionally look at her reflection. And today's look was apparently 'Sleep deprived raccoon'.

She hit a stop street and figured she could use the few minutes to tackle her hair. She pulled down her car mirror and tried to smoothe it out as best she could. But the light had long since turned green by the time she got her hands back on the wheel. And now all the other cars were honking at her and her hair was still a mess.

She swore under her breath.

"What does that word mean?"

"Nothing, Monkey. Finish your breakfast," she said through teeth clenched around her hair tie.

She resisted the urge to swear again. Chloe still hadn't heard the end of the hooker thing and now she'd just gone and added another word to her daughter's artillery- an artillery that had been raised from the ground by one man alone. She would have called it a miracle if the man responsible for it didn't insistently refer to himself as the devil.

Seriously, sometimes she thought he had a disorder that forced him to make an innuendo whenever he opened his mouth. Most of the time actually.

She pulled over at the side of the road across from her daughter's school. They both stayed in the car as she brushed out the tangles in Trixie's hair, then tucked back some fly-aways with brightly coloured clips. She hadn't brought enough to completely tide the storm of stubbornly messy hair she'd obviously inherited from her mother, but it was better than nothing

Finally, Chloe gave her an absent-minded kiss on the forehead and handed her her bag.

"Mommy this is your work bag."

She leaned over her seat to try, and fail, and grab the proper bag from the back. Trixie rounded the car and slung it over her shoulder.

"Never mind, I got it. Bye!"

"Wait, sweetie, your books."

"Oh."

Chloe unzipped her bag and shoved them in there.

"Bye, Monkey, have a good day!"

Chloe watched her child go until she disappeared into the gates.

She got back in the car.

Then she took a few minutes to wrestle her hair into a messy bun. (that's all she could get it to do) She took another few minutes to breathe. Then she pulled her car back onto the road and headed to work

* * *

"Hello Detective. Busy night?" Purred the accented voice she'd come to hate.  
"Lucifer, not today."  
"But that's what you say everyday."  
"And I always mean it."  
He shrugged, too narcissistic to ever take a hit.  
"So... Was it?"  
"What," she sighed, statement far too apathetic to require a question mark.  
"A busy night?"  
He followed her as she tiredly shuffled her way across the office.  
"Lucifer, not today," she reiterated," Go... Sleep with an intern or something."  
He rolled his eyes, "I've made quite the effort in that department. And I ended up very disappointed, I'm afraid."  
She almost choked.  
He didn't say anything but the look on his face spoke volumes. Unfortunately.  
"Why am I not surprised."  
"One of them just had to go and bring up my Father in the middle of sex. I don't think I can do that one again. It's funny, there's only one thing that completely ruins the mood for me, one single thing, and the amount of people that have crossed that line... "

She finally made her way to her desk, Lucifer in tow, and sat down heavily.

She buried her face in her hands, elbows leaned against her desk. She was way too tired to deal with this today.

"Just a heads up: douche incoming in three, two... Ah, there he is."

She didn't have to look up to know that Dan was glaring at him.

"What do I have to do to stop you from calling me that?"

"Nothing you could ever do could bring me as much joy as pissing you off does."

She felt Dan place a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah. Just... One of those days."

"I hadn't noticed actually," piped Lucifer.

She bit back a retort.

"I overslept and I- My hair-  
I just. I'm a mess right now."

"Hey, it's okay. Happens to the best of us.

Oh by the way, did you remember to get a babysitter for Trixie?"

Her heart dropped.

"I'll take that silence as a no then."

"I completely forgot..."

"I would offer to take her but I've got paperwork coming out of my ears. And this is the one night I set aside to tackle it. Couldn't you take her with you or something?"

"Oh that's a great idea. Why leave our little girl at home to watch Dora the Explorer when I could have her face to face with rotting corpses. What better way to spend a Sunday night."

"Okay, okay, sorry."

"Plus I'm going out tonight, remember? That's kind of the whole reason we needed a babysitter."

"Oh... I mean um, I didn't forget."

"Mhmmm."

She looked up.

Lucifer had wandered off halfway through the conversation.  
He was probably off somewhere bothering some poor rookie cop. Or flirting with anything that moved.

Wait... Lucifer.

She scanned the vicinity.

He was standing by the coffeemaker and drinking something from a silver flask. She'd have to yell at him for that later.

He didn't look at her as she walked up to him.

"Lucifer."

He raised an eyebrow at her, still not looking at her.

"I need a favour."

"Oh?"

Finally, he looked over. His eyes were sparkling. He was enjoying this way too much.

First, she was the one who was a mess for once. And now she needed something from him.

He took a long draw from his flask.

Oh, she was going to regret this.

" Are you doing anything tonight?

And no, the guy from across the hall doesn't count."

He raised the flask back up to his mouth, not answering for a while as he downed whatever substance was in there.

"I beg to differ. But no, I'm still working on him. I do, however, have an entire night club to run."  
"But surely you can take one day off? Please?"  
"Oh, finally decided to take me up on the sex?"  
"No, Lucifer and I don't think I ever will."

He snorted.

"But," she continued, "I do need a babysitter for tonight."  
" No."  
"But-"  
"Absolutely not."  
"Lucifer-"  
"You don't seem to be understanding. Do I need to start speaking another language? _No_. That's no in Italian."  
She put a hand over his mouth so he'd finally stop talking.  
"What if I made one of your deals?"  
"A deal?"  
"Yes. You babysit Trixie for me tonight and I do anything you want in return. "  
"Anything? "  
"Yes, anything."  
"Hmmm. You may regret agreeing to this, Detective."  
"I know. But I know deep down you're not as bad as you make yourself out to be. Or I'm just very, very desperate."

He tipped back the flask and drained out the dregs.

"Okay. I'll do it. "

"Thank you," she breathed.

There were a few minutes of sweet relief.

And them the feeling of dread set in.

She was regretting this already.

* * *

Chloe was halfway through pulling on the one formal dress she owned when there was a loud rapping at the door.

She hated it. It was gaudy and impractical and it inhibited her movements. But the circumstances called for it.  
Despite herself, she couldn't exactly be in jeans and a plain T-shirt while girls in extravagant dresses and men in impeccable black suits surrounded her. And it was a special occasion.

She yelled a; "Coming!" In the direction of the door and carried on wiggling into the tight fabric.

Finally, mercifully, she was in.

She struggled with the zip for another frustratingly long time, then stepped back to get a look at herself in her mirror that was hanging on the wall.

The dress was pretty, it was a dark blue and covered with enough diamanté to blind someone. She looked pretty too, she supposed. Even if she didn't really look like herself anymore.

She turned away from her reflection and went over to open the door. But apparently her guest had already let himself in. She spun wildly and landed a punch to the intruder's jaw.

"Detective! It's me! It's Lucifer.

" _Lucifer,"_ the prospect didn't make her want to punch him any less, "You gave me a heart attack."  
"What? I did knock."  
"You know what the great thing about knocking is? It means that you know someone's at the door and you can invite them in when you're ready. And they wait at the door, they don't just barge into your house and bring you ten years closer to death."  
He waved a hand, " Oh don't be so dramatic. Honestly, I don't think I'm ever going to understand human etiquette."  
"How long were you in my room for?" she decided to let the weird 'human' statement pass.  
"A few minutes. You know, you really should be a bit more perceptive if you're going to carry on this law enforcement thing."  
She glared daggers at him, but he pretended not to notice.  
"Relax," he carried on, "it's not like I saw you naked. Oh wait."

Lucifer was dressed in his usual perfect suit and devilish grin. That smile...

It always made her want to knock it right off his face. But judging from the way he was rubbing his jaw she'd already gotten a pretty good one in.

He started giving her a once over.

"It is a lovely dress though. _You_ look lovely," she'd knocked a few octaves off his usual arrogant purr. The thought made her smile.  
"Lovely and dangerous... although I think you'd look a bit better without the clothes part. "  
His eyebrow had climbed a spectacular amount up his very high forehead.  
"You couldn't just compliment me and leave it at that, could you."  
"Fine. Detective, you look lovely. Full stop."  
"Thank you, Lucifer."  
"It fits you _very well_. And that length is sinful enough to tempt even the devil. "  
"Okay, that's enough."

His suit was almost the same shade of blue as her dress. They looked almost like partners, she mused.

She wondered over how opposite they were; he, his closet was no doubt overflowing with suit jackets and Italian leather belts. Not one pair of jeans. Not a single button down shirt that was anything less than flawless.

" I'm a bit surprised, I've never seen you wear anything but your uniform. " Lucifer asked.  
She shrugged, "Having a kid and a full time job kind of destroys your social life."  
He opened his mouth and Chloe could practically see the rising comment about not understanding why 'mortals' bothered to reproduce. She cut him off.  
"But today's kind of special. One of my best friends from highschool is having an engagement party. I have to come."  
" _You have friends?"  
_ "Har har."

She pursed her lips so he wouldn't see her smile. He was far too proud of his one liners. He didn't need any encouragement.

"Now can you get out? I need to do my make up and I don't need you sitting and making snide comments."  
"You love my commentary, Detective. And one day you're going to realise that."

 _Dammit._

"Why don't you go say hello to Trixie?"

His lip curled, "I don't want to spend any more time with your _spawn_ than necessary. And I am not calling her that awful stripper name."  
"You'll have to go see her eventually.

And Lucifer? Thanks. I know you don't want to do this. But thank you for having my back anyway."

He gave her a look she couldn't quite place.

"We're partners. That's what I'm supposed to do- have your back and all that. And besides, I'm only here for the favour, remember?"

Though there was a bit of lingering involved, he actually listened to her, for once. She shut the door after him and started working on her make up .

* * *

It'd taken her awhile, her eyelid was flecked with black from the mascara she'd long since given up with cleaning off, and she'd poked herself in the eye with her eyeliner half a million times, but she was done. Finally.

Lucifer was in the kitchen doing his best to cook Trixie dinner. His efforts were somewhat thwarted by the little girl who seemed to be doing her best to become one with his leg.

She took her phone out her clutch and snapped a picture. It wasn't often she got to laugh at Lucifer. So when the opportunity arose, she liked to make it last as long as possible.

"Hey Monkey, do you want to let go of Lucifer so I can say goodbye?"  
"Yes. Good child, go to your mum."

She peeled herself off slowly and hesitantly. Whatever effect Lucifer had on people of the opposite sex- well, any sex, it seemed- apparently extended itself to Chloe's daughter. But as soon as Trixie had let go of Lucifer, she came bounding over to her.

Chloe squatted down to look her in the eyes.  
"You need to be good for Lucifer, okay? He's really doing me a favour here."  
"Does that mean I have to stop calling him Luci?"  
" _Please stop calling me that,_ " came his voice from the kitchen.  
"Nah, I'll let you have that one."

He shot her a threatening look.

She started to smile. But then she remembered something.

She walked over as quickly as she could in such a restricting dress. Lucifer stopped coating the chicken to give her a quizzical look as she rummaged through the freezer draw. She pulled out a pack of frozen vegetables and handed them to him.

"Frozen vegetables are an atrocity that I refuse to support."  
"It's for your jaw."  
"Oh. Well I should be fine as soon as you leave."  
"Okay-"  
"Not like that! You just make me vulnerable and-" he sighed, "And you're not going to believe me. I'll just take it."

"Bye Monkey! Remember what I said, okay?"

She hugged her daughter hard and turned to head out the door for the second time that day.

* * *

Dead bodies Lucifer could handle. Rapists and serial killers and unbelievable horrors he'd dealt with without blinking. But dealing with a seven year old girl? No.  
Going back to hell would probably be better than this.

At least Maze wasn't here to see him right now. Or he would have never heard the end of it.

"So... Beatrice. What do you usually do?"

She had gone back to clinging to his legs and no matter how many things he threw, she still refused to play fetch. This was his best and only strategy and the fact that it wasn't working left him at a loss.

"Well sometimes I go do homework. "

"Ah."

"But I'm finished all of it.

Um sometimes I help mommy cook? But she doesn't let me use knives. "

"Well I suppose that's as good an idea as any. You're going to have to let me go though."

She considered this for a few minutes and then finally dropped her arms.

"Sit. You can help me peel vegetables. Don't cut your fingers or your mother will kill me. And it won't be a quick death."

Finally free, he moved over and grabbed a few carrots from the fridge drawer. He put them down in front of the child and watched her for a few minutes just to check if she was alright.  
Then, he hunted around the kitchen for something else. He found a zucchini with a tail end that had gone a bit rotten, but nothing else.

He shrugged and started chopping it up, always careful to keep a close eye on her.

He'd been glad to have his supernatural abilities. Beatrice had come this close to doing some fairly serious damage to herself with the peeler, but he managed to catch her in time. Instead her deferred her to table setting duty. He just prayed she wouldn't drop any plates. (Yes, this human child had driven him to prayer)

Soon enough, the two of them, but mostly Lucifer- she'd been more of a hindrance than a help but at least it kept her hands away from him- had finished.

"There," he said as he took his chicken out the oven.

"You know, mommy usually uses oven gloves when she's holding hot dishes."

He gave a disinterested hum.

"Is it because you're a magician?"

"What?"

He began setting out the food.

"My mom said you were a magician."

"Are you insinuating that my immortality, granted to me by my Father, the God of all creation is just a cheap parlor trick?"

"You use big words."

"Just eat your dinner, Decker spawn."

* * *

Chloe finished up at around midnight. Her lipstick had long since worn off on her many, many cocktail straws. Her eyeliner was now rubbed all over her face. Her feet were killing her.

It'd been an amazing night.

All that she needed now was sleep. Lots of it.

She fumbled with her keys and almost dropped them at least twice, but she finally managed to get her door open.

She passed the living room. Lucifer was sitting on one of her chairs. He looked about as exhausted as she felt.

"How was she?" her voice sounded a bit more slurred than she would have liked.

"I don't know how you do it," he sounded tired too.

"That bad, huh?" she smiled.

"Actually it was... bearable."

"You liked it, didn't you?"

"I admit to nothing. You look tired, you should go to bed. Goodnight, Detective."

She felt warm and sleepy. She didn't know if she'd even make it to her bed. She headed over to one of her couches and stretched out. She was vaguely aware of Lucifer spreading a blanket over her.

"Oh, and as for that favour? Take care of yourself, Decker."

* * *

 **I just really love the Lucifer/ Trixie dynamic and wish there'd been more of it. Hopefully Season three will bring good things.**

 **This fic had some Deckerstar moments that can be read as either platonic or romantic, you decide.**

 **Please review and let me know what you think!**


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